Flat Fanboys

Take a good look at that poster.
Because it's a sign of what went wrong with Fanboys the movie.

Take look at this Wired article to see the long tortured history of Fanboys, but the short version is Ernie Cline, the ultimate Stars Wars fan, harnessed the power of Lucas fandom to make a movie about Star Wars fans.

Fanboys the movie is actually about a group of Star Wars fans driving across country to break into the Skywalker Ranch to see The Phantom Menance. Oh, and of course of their friends has cancer.

The movie's been in film limbo for years. Fans were teased at comic conventions. Producer Kevin Spacey kept tinkering. Studios cut the cancer plot out. Then put it back in.

Now here it is, 3 years late. Stale and sadly unfunny.

It's not for lack of trying. Fanboys is crammed with Star Wars humour. Every freakin second line of dialogue is a lift from the movie. "The force is strong with this one...." "She's got it where it counts" etc. There are Star Wars sound effects. Everyone wears Star Wars t-shirts. There are even Star Wars edits, the famous Lucas screen wipes.

But somewhere in the middle someone forgot to make a GOOD MOVIE.

A road movie where a bunch of dudes drive across country isn't breaking new ground. Having the pretty girl fall for the shy nerd doesn't either. No amount of cameos (Carrie Fisher, Billy Dee Williams, Wiliam Shatner) can save this film.

Which brings me back to the poster. Again it's a collection of in-jokes. If you're a geek you probably can tell they're riffing off the "motivational posters" meme that's all over the net.

Funny? Well maybe if you're one of geeks who get the joke.

But what about the rest of us? What about the average movie going public? All they'll see is an ugly poster with a lame graphic.

Now compare that to this. Much better poster, that's at least visually interesting.

Seems to be a sign of what wrong here with this film. Someone that's happening a little too often. Increasingly fans and filmmakers are feeding off each other. Look at Watchmen. Fans were in the loop from the get go. But at some point you need to stop and make your own movie. You can't make a movie by committee. That why they have directors. What the real fans appreciate is vision, originality, something fresh.

Goodness knows there's a movie to made about living in the Star Wars universe. As someone raising a budding Star fan I've thought a little to long about what Lucas' re-imagined fairy tale brought to audiences.

But Fanboys doesn't do that justice. Frankly Fanboys insults it. Replacing best elements of an ambitious space opera with boob jokes and bad puns.

EPIC FAIL as the kids say.

Wildlife Sighting

I gotta say, that looks damn good.

3, 2, 1, Go, Boom

This is a lot more entertaining than you'd expect for an interview between a wrestler and an action director.
Possibly the most amusing trailer of the year. Doubt that reflects on the explosions-aplenty final product, but still fun.

(click on featurette)

Rebel Yell

I know, I know, I've been away.
I'm working at a different gig for March so posting going to be light to non-existent.
But let me make it up to you with this.
See it for yourself here.

FUN CANCER AND CONVERSATIONALISTS (One Week and Pontypool)

Just a quick note to say if you're not up for Giant Naked Blue Men there's a number of other good movies in theatres.

I already raved about Pontypool. It's open now. Cerebral horror flick. The best kind.

Also in theatres is One Week staring Joshua Jackson. I wanted to mention this, because the movie is fighting an uphill battle.

Yes, it's a movie about a guy with terminal cancer. Yes he gets on his motorbike and rides West, across Canada.

But here's the thing...
It's good.
Wry, surprising and not as sentimental as you think.
Josh does a nice job and the narration by Campbell Scott is really what sells it.

Give it a second chance, i think you'll be surprised.

Eyes Wide Shut (The Watchmen movie)

Oy.
How's that for a review?

Ahem.

Well, since I'm working at Q this month I wont be doing my regular movie column.

But you can tune in this Saturday on The World This Weekend on CBC for thoughts on Watchmen, superhero cinema and future of spandex on screen.

Now, the hour is late, so let me leave you with a few brief thoughts on the film.

Too literal. Full Frontal. Too slow (motion.) Action? Sure. Pathos? Not so much.

Not every book makes a great movie and not ever comic works on the big screen. Terry Gilliam had the rights to the Watchmen once. He gave them up, because he realized what made it work as a comic book wouldn't survive the translation.

It is one thing to see Rorschach mumble and mutter on the page. But hearing him rant about commies and whores on the big screen, in a growl that would give Christian Bale a run for his money...well, film is not that forgiving. Especially when it seems the director has a near-religious reverence for the source material.

The orignal Watchmen was a slow march to a cliff, a wry look at the men and women under the mask, told by comic book fans tired of writing funny books.

The movie is a love letter to the original, where director Zack Snyder drowns any depth with his own fetish for slow motion shots and shattering femurs.

The book is all there on the screen, except it's not.



Well I had predicted this. Although, the past couple weeks as the day approached, I allowed myself to hope that I was wrong. I wasn't.

Press Start to Play

Another dance video to enjoy. Mmmm retro arcadey.